Welcome to my blog. I've decided to call it "Ramblings of an over thinker" because that's what I am. I've always been a deep thinker. The one who feels the need to analyse, why did that happen? Why did that person do what they did? It's one of the things that has brought me to becoming a coach, and especially to work with NLP. NLP can give us the answers to so many things. Join me as I contemplate my way through life and all of it's challenges, and if you find my thoughts even remotely interesting, please consider subscribing to my mailing list if you would like my posts straight to your inbox. I'll try and do my part and keep it interesting. I might even throw in a profound life changing thought here and there, you wouldn't want to miss that, would you?
Ramblings Of An Over Thinker
Why do we fear things we can’t control?
In coaching and NLP we learn that the only thing we can really control in this whole world is ourselves and our own behaviour. We have our own free will, everyone has their own free will, and we can’t control how someone else is going to choose to behave. We can control what thoughts we give our energy to, but we can’t control the thoughts that come into our own minds, let alone the thoughts that come into someone else’s. We can’t control the world outside, the weather, other drivers on the road, people walking past us, what those people might think of us, birds flying over our heads with the ever present threat of diving for our chips or dropping presents on our heads, so today I have a question for you, why do we worry about these things? Why do we waste our time, energy and emotional state worrying about things we can’t control?
It’s a new year. The time when everyone reflects on the past year and thinks about the future. Most people decide on something they want to change in the coming year. Most people have a goal of some kind. Do you?
When I think about the goals and challenges we set ourselves, I’m reminded of that old invisible barrier, the comfort zone. Invisible you ask? My comfort zone is very real! How can it be invisible? I’ll tell you!
Limiting beliefs and decisions: have we just stopped noticing them?
I am very fortunate that the variety of my work leads me to work with the young, the old and everyone in between, and something I notice far too frequently is decisions we make about ourselves, and beliefs we hold about ourselves. It’s all too easy isn’t it, to make our minds up about something we feel we’re good at, or not good at, or things we believe we can achieve or will never achieve. We’re giving ourselves messages all the time. We’re telling ourselves things in our minds all the time. And this can be good or perhaps it can be holding us back. Henry Ford is quoted to have said, “Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” Let’s just think about that for a minute…
Can We Make Ourselves Happy?
The most common reason people come to a coach is because they’re not happy about something, whether that is themselves, their life situation, or any aspect of life, and it’s my job to help a person figure out what needs to change.
Now, there will always be things in life that we can change, things that are within our control, and there will also be plenty that we cannot affect, that we cannot control, so what then?
Always take the weather with you?
It’s been a week of some pretty wet weather here on the south coast of England. I’ve already lost count of the amount of times I’ve towelled down my dog at the doormat before releasing him into the rest of the house, or had to change my clothes in the middle of the day because of walking to close to those extra-large drops of water rolling off the tops of buildings or trees, and I hear there’s more on the way. This kind of weather tends to get people a bit down in the dumps, more short tempered than usual, and a little lethargic. We don’t want to go outside, we just want to hide inside, close the curtains so we can’t see how horrible it is outside and wait under a duvet until it passes. But why?
Always look on the bright side of life?
If you’re not whistling right now I’m disappointed in you. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you need to google my title and find out why you should be whistling. It’s a silly song, but I like the premise, so let’s go with it.
There is no failure, only feedback
Why did I choose this as a subject? Well, what does it mean? There’s no such thing as failure? Of course there is I hear you say. We grow up with the threat of failure. Every time we take a test, it’s pass or fail. Exams at school, driving tests later in life etc. Every time you set out to do something, it’s succeed, or fail, right? Wrong.
“New year, new start,” but what makes a good resolution?
It’s January, the start of a new year. It’s that time when everyone takes advantage of the excuse to set new goals, decide on what they want to achieve in the coming year. But why now? We constantly set ourselves goals, we’re constantly thinking of ways to improve ourselves, but really the turn of the New Year is just an excuse. We can make changes any time of the year if we really want to.